


Don't Kiss Me

by seasalticecream32



Series: Punk!Merlin AUs [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:09:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4865960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasalticecream32/pseuds/seasalticecream32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: You give me a piggy back ride (or ride home) after I got out of a brutal fight and can barely stand. American AU bc I felt like it.</p><p>Merlin gets in a lot of fights, but this time something is different and Arthur has to find out what it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Kiss Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This was written after something happened to me in reference to my own drama thing, SO. I'm respectfully asking that I don't get any criticisms on this. Like, seriously, please, I would love comments. But please don't criticize it bc that's not what this story was written for.
> 
> If you want to chat or anything, you can find me on tumblr at captainmerlin32. :D Thank you!

Arthur tried to ignore the blood dribbling on his shoulder. Dark hair bobbed in his peripheral vision, letting out a horrible groan into his ear whenever he bounced the thin body further up his back.

“Merlin, I know you’re out of it, but I need you to try to hold yourself up.” Arthur shook his head at the grunt that answered. “Just a bit further ok.”

The truth was, Arthur didn’t know where the nearest hospital was. He wasn’t exactly in the best shape himself. He’d already been 1500 calories into a workout and dripping sweat when Merlin had called him and his muscles were screaming at him. He hadn’t known why or what happened, but he’d run the four blocks to find Merlin half-conscious in an alleyway.

Now his legs were shaking and his arms were weak and Merlin was draped across his back like a potato sack or five and moaning and groaning in his ear about a hospital.

If the blood that dribbled down his shirt was any indication of the state Merlin was in, he’d need it.

He’d just have to stay awake long enough to reach it.

“So, Merlin, what prompted the fight this time?”

“G’l said no.” Merlin’s head lolled towards Arthur’s neck and sent goosebumps over his skin. “Arse didn’t listen.”

“So you just decided to sock it to him, yeah?” Arthur shoved Merlin back up. The streets in this neighborhood were practically empty. What had Merlin been doing here anyway? “Didn’t think to call the cops then?”

“Pfft,” was Merlin’s only response.

Arthur shook his head again, but didn’t argue. That response was all too reasonable considering the track record Merlin had with the police. Dark hair tickled his neck again, and the arms that had been loosely wrapped around his neck went lax.

“Merlin?” There was no response and Arthur’s heart picked up.

How did this man always manage to find the worst scraps to get into? And how come Arthur always had to come save him?

But never in time to stop anything.

Never in time to pull Merlin back or help Merlin out.

Somehow, it was always after Merlin was a bloody heap on the floor that Arthur found him and hobbled him home.

It had never been this bad, though. It had never been to the point where Merlin couldn’t half-walk himself. He’d never had so much silence on these trips. It left a rock in his gut and Arthur shook away the thought.

“Look, you big idiot, the second you’re back from this hospital trip, you’re stopping all the fights.” Arthur could feel Merlin slipping down his back again, his breath coming hot against his shoulder now. “For God’s sake, Merlin, I can’t do this.”

Arthur frowned and slid Merlin down and flipped out his cell phone. He didn’t trust the cabbies in this part of town not to run away at the sight of Merlin, but he knew who he _could_ trust.

“Morgana?” His sister clicked her tongue at him, but he didn’t have time for her games. “Look, Merlin’s hurt. I think it’s pretty bad this time.”

“What the hell, Arthur?” Morgana’s voice carried, probably meaning she was somewhere important. “You and Merlin better be glad you’re pretty.”

Arthur winced at the crackle on the line that sounded horrifically like an intercom. She’d probably had him on speaker at a meeting. Which meant his dad would know about this meeting soon enough. “Yeah, well, he needs a trip to the hospital.”

“How’s the other guy look?” Morgana sounded closer to the phone, her voice hushed and careful now. “Where are you at?”

Arthur frowned and looked at the rundown apartment he’d stopped in front of and read the numbers. “Brooks Apartments, Presley Drive. And I don’t know. The other guy was gone. And apparently took his girlfriend with him.”

“Merlin playing knight in shining armor again?”

“Looks like it.” Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “Look, just hurry ok. I’m worried he might have a concussion or something. There’s a pretty nasty gash on his head and he’s having a hard time staying awake.”

“Great.” There was a heavy thud that Arthur assumed was Morgana’s car door. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Arthur didn’t know how long he waited. Judging from what he remembered, Morgana was at least twenty minutes away, and that’s hoping traffic is light. He tried not to tap his foot and cross his arms and look all around like an impatient ass when Morgana showed up. She never did put up with his dramatic tendencies.

Arthur chose instead to lean over Merlin and push the hair away from the cut on his head. It was swelled up considerably, and Merlin’s head jerked away when Arthur’s fingers brushed against it. Merlin’s blue eyes flickered at him.

“Wh’ya do th’ for?” Merlin leaned heavily back again.

“Because I needed to look at the wound.”

“N’ doctor.” Merlin shook his head a bit wildly, like his neck had come unhinged.

“Does your mouth hurt?” Arthur rubbed a knuckle over the bruised, swollen lip.

Merlin yanked away so hard that his head bounced against the brick of the apartment building. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t think people get broken lips, Merlin.” Arthur sucked in a breath when Merlin turned his head to the side, exposing a long neck and several dark smudges peeking out from his scarf. Arthur nudged the blue fabric down to reveal several finger shaped bruises. “What the hell?”

“Nothin’.” Merlin said it around his busted lip, pulling his scarf back up to cover the bruising. “D’t worry.”

Arthur shook his head and opened his mouth to argue, but the squeal of tires and flash of red told him his sister had appeared. “

“Merlin, you look a mess. Arthur, help him into the car.” Morgana clicked her fingernails against her consol. “You can explain on the way, so you don’t fall asleep and give my brother a heart attack. We can’t afford two doctor bills.”  
“Liar.” Merlin mumbled, but his comment came out more than a bit slurred.

“Hold on five minutes, Merlin. We’ll have you to the hospital in a jiffy.” Morgana pressed in on the gas and swung out around a corner. “Now, do you mind telling me what and who happened?”

“He said some girl said no and a guy wasn’t listening so, I guess he fought him.” Arthur spoke quickly, hand rubbing over Merlin’s bloodied knuckles. Merlin winced, but didn’t pull his hand away.

“Wow, Merlin, your voice suddenly got a lot more prattish and annoying.” Morgana rolled her eyes and twisted her hand over the steering wheel. “So, _Merlin_ , what happened?”

“Wh’ Arth’r said.” Merlin leaned back and started to rub his head before he gasped and put his hand down, rubbing the smear of blood onto his pants.

Morgana didn’t press the issue any more until she slammed on her brakes and screeched to a halt in front of the emergency doors. “Get in there and make sure your story is straight. Don’t want to see any blue lights flashing around here, you understand?”

“Right, of course.” Arthur was barely listening when he dragged Merlin out of the car. “You going to walk this time or do I need to piggy back you up?”

“Wha?” Merlin mumbled and stumbled forwards.

Arthur rolled his eyes, color rising in his cheeks, and manhandled Merlin onto his back again. “Should’ve known.”

They sat in the emergency waiting room for what felt like hours, but according to Arthur’s watch it was only half an hour at most. The doctors wheeled out a chair for Merlin and carted him off to a room and it was another waiting game for Arthur while they determined all the ways Merlin’s head had gotten messed up in whatever excuse they gave him.

Inevitably, they’d call Arthur back.

And he’d have to explain himself, again.

_No Doctor, I don’t know how this happened to him._

_No Doctor, I wasn’t there when it happened._

_He just called me for a ride, Doctor. I wasn’t involved, Doctor. I didn’t cause this, Doctor._

And Arthur would leave knowing that at least a few of the doctors wouldn’t believe him.

Merlin would apologize about a hundred times and it would all kind of collapse from there, but it always turned out ok. Always before.

But Merlin had never jerked away from Arthur like that before, had never reacted to Arthur’s touch with such fear.

It made something twist in his stomach, something hot and sickly and sour. By the time the doctors came to interrogate him in front of Merlin’s door, he was twitching and nervous.

“So, Mr. Pendragon, it says here that over the last two years, Merlin has been admitted to the hospital several times.”

“He’s a very clumsy guy.” Arthur flinched at the really horrid excuse, but Merlin really couldn’t get caught in any more fights. Police officers didn’t really approve of _troublemakers_ , as they’d deemed Merlin when he was still a homeless teenager. “Look, it’s really not something I feel comfortable discussing, ok? It’s Merlin’s business.”

“Look, Mr. Pendragon, if it comes out that Merlin’s in any kind of danger, we’re required by the law to report it.”

“The only danger Merlin is in is from himself.” Arthur scowled and then wished he hadn’t. “Look, that came out harsher than I meant it. It’s just, Merlin’s got some issues he’s working through, but I’ll keep him safe, ok?”

“Well, Merlin has chosen not to press charges on whoever attacked him,” the doctor raised his eyebrows at Arthur, as if in warning, before continuing. “So they are incredibly lucky. You may see Mr. Emrys now, though I must warn that someone is going to be in the room to monitor him.”

“Not necessary, Doctor.” A voice murmured out from the room, where Merlin was leaning on the doorframe and failing entirely to look as though he was perfectly fine. “I’ve already signed the discharge papers and have all the instructions telling my fine boyfriend there how to take care of me.” Merlin waved the papers in his hand and swayed on his feet, but caught himself on the door. “And the concussion is admittedly mild, so you can’t really force me to stay.”

“I strongly advice against—”

“Strong advice acknowledged and ignored.” Merlin nodded, flashing a pearly white grin at the doctor and sauntering forward. He did a pretty good job at making it to Arthur’s side. “Being dizzy and slightly concussed is no excuse for waiting around in a hospital.”

“Merlin, don’t you think it might—“ Arthur sighed when Merlin interrupted him with a withering stare.

“Morgana’s already waiting on us. I texted her.”

“Ugh, Morgana.” Arthur’s body was tired, and his head was starting to hurt, and he just wanted to get home. “Fine.”

He held Merlin’s hand and tried to get a look at his face, but Merlin wouldn’t actually look at him for more than a few seconds. He tried to shrug it off as just stress or embarrassment, but Merlin was acting stranger than normal after this particular fight.

“So, how pushy were they this time?” Merlin said once they exited the towering hospital doors. “Thank god for your good insurance, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Arthur ran a hand over his face. “Yeah, they were pretty convinced that I did it this time too.”

Merlin managed to look chastised when he looked down at his shoes. “Sorry. I know I shouldn’t get into fights like this.”

“Damn right, you shouldn’t.” Arthur snapped, but immediately regretted it when a lady huffed across the parking lane. “Look, I get worried about you. I can handle the doctors, I know they’re wrong. But you ended up concussed this time! You were barely staying awake when I found you! Why do you insist on doing this? Why can’t you just let it go? Call the authorities?’

“Oh yeah, cause the cops would have been so helpful.” Merlin sneered, cocking his head to the side as he mocked the system that had so often failed him. “Hello, Mr. Officer, there’s a woman here getting assaulted by a strange man in an alleyway. _Well Mr. Emrys, can you describe what she’s wearing? Maybe she just likes it rough._ And then nothing happens and I end up fighting the ass anyway.”

“You didn’t even try, did you?” Arthur pinched his nose when Merlin dropped his hand and stepped away. “Look, I get it. You’ve got to save the world, you’ve got to make everything right. Ok. Well, I’m tired of it.” He threw up his hands and yanked Morgana’s door open, to her hissed disapproval.

Merlin didn’t say anything. He didn’t even say anything when he slunk into his seat, arms crossed.

“You know he’s going to win this, Arthur. I don’t know why you argue about it every time.” Morgana tapped her hands against her steering wheel. She was in perpetual movement, a person made of nervous tics and habits and it was grating on Arthur’s already unraveled nerves. “You’ll get to thinking about what would have happened if Merlin wasn’t there to help that girl, and then you’ll feel bad, and then you’ll apologize.”

“Yeah, well, until that point I’m still pissed because Merlin has a concussion and one day it’s going to be worse than that.” Arthur scowled, even as the first twitches of guilt tugged at him, when Merlin sunk further down into his seat.

“If you make him cry in my car, you’ll be walking home.” Morgana continued her fidgeting and Arthur crossed his arms and glowered into her rearview. Her bright eyes caught his and her jaw tightened. “I understand why you did it Merlin. I’d have done the same.” She didn’t look back at him when she said it, but Arthur knew she meant it.

It wasn’t fair that no one in this car could seem to care about his side of things.

***

A month later, Arthur regretted having ever said anything to Merlin about his fighting habits.

Merlin hadn’t touched him since they got out of Morgana’s car. He’d not held his hand or ruffled his hair or kissed him. Any time Arthur reached for him, Merlin would pull away, eyes flashing wide before he’d chuckle a bit and try to wave it off. This hadn’t happened before.

Morgana had been right. The night of the incident, Arthur apologized for being a jerk about everything and Merlin apologized for making him worry and Arthur had expected things to go back to how they’d been before.

But Merlin hadn’t come to bed until late that night. He’d slept at the furthest edge of the bed and woke before Arthur, eyes rimmed in red and smudged underneath with black. He’d taken to wearing his scarves even more often to cover up the bruising. Often he’d pull them over his face and under his nose, looking comically like a bandit, but there was nothing remotely funny about the way he’d wince when Arthur would go to tug the fabric down to see his face.

One afternoon, when the sun was bright and they’d spent their morning at the park and Arthur had suggested ice cream and Merlin’s fingers were covered in dribbled chocolate from his cone, Arthur decided to speak up.

“So, what can I do to make you forgive me?” Arthur leaned back, fingers itching to reach across and grab Merlin’s clean hand. He didn’t bother trying, but Merlin must have sense that he wanted to because he pulled his hand back to sit on his leg under the table.

Merlin’s eyes slid down, face pale. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, Merlin. You can’t tell me nothing’s wrong, I know you better than that.”

“It’s nothing. Just got a lot going on up here.” Merlin pointed to his shaggy hair and flashed Arthur a dimpled smile. It was a trick Arthur always fell for. That smile was a warming distraction that sent thrills through his heart. “I’ll work on it.”

“Merlin, it’s been a whole month. Don’t you want to talk it out?”

“Nothing to talk about.” Merlin stuffed chocolate ice cream into his mouth and quirked a brow at Arthur and Arthur felt his resolve wilt.

“Fine. But if you don’t seem to be getting any better, I’m going to insist we talk about this.” Arthur shook his head when Merlin grinned at him, chocolate covering his teeth. “I’m serious.”

Merlin nodded, and they dropped it.

That night, Arthur tried, for maybe the hundredth time that month, to pull Merlin into a kiss. Merlin’s neck went stiff, his lips thinned into almost nothing, even if he didn’t pull away.

Arthur may have just let it go with a sigh and a resolve to be patient, but he caught Merlin’s hand moving to his throat, where the bruises were mostly healed under his scarf.

“Alright, that’s it, tell me what’s going on.” Arthur tugged the scarf off. Merlin didn’t move to stop him, but he flinched when he looked at the red clenched in Arthur’s fist.

“It’s really nothing major. I’m just still adjusting.” Merlin shrugged, his eyes cast to the side.

“No, tell me what’s going on.” Arthur tossed the scarf on their counter, leaning back and trying to keep his voice level. He’d been fearing a break up for weeks. If it was going to happen, he wanted to at least appear strong through it. “Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I can’t, ok?” Merlin snapped, but he didn’t sound angry. His voice was tight, his knuckles white at his side. It was a side of Merlin Arthur had never witnessed before. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Merlin was panicking about something. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Look, if you’re trying to figure out how to break up with me or something, Merlin, just do it. Dragging it on like this is killing me, and if you think I’m going to break up with you first then you have another thing coming.” Arthur couldn’t control the volume of his words, couldn’t convey the way his heart was beating too strongly in his chest without it sounding like anger. “I’m not leaving you unless you want me gone.”

“What? Arthur I don’t…” Merlin fell silent, letting out a long breath before he forced himself to look Arthur in the eyes. “You really think I want to leave you?”

“I don’t know, Merlin.” Arthur groaned and pulled himself to sit beside the red bundle. “You act like you’re scare of me or something. I can’t touch you without you pulling away from me. I’d never hurt you, you know?” He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know when we was younger I used to be a bit rough with you, and if I’ve started—”

“He kissed me.” Merlin blurted out the confession, hands rubbing at his neck again. “He kissed me a couple of times. Said he wanted to prove a point.”

Arthur’s mouth dropped open, but he couldn’t force any words through.

Merlin’s face screwed up into a cry, but there were no tears or sound. “Said my lips looked girlish enough. Told me he wondered what I looked like under all those clothes.”

“He didn’t… He didn’t force anything did he?” Hot and cold flashed over his skin, between anger, disgust, and fear.

“I kicked him in the nuts before he could do anything more. Lucky I did too.” Merlin’s voice shook. “I keep… I keep hearing what he said in my head. I keep feeling his lips on my mouth and his hands on my skin and I’m so sorry, but I can’t make it stop.”

Arthur moved carefully over to where Merlin stood, the tears finally leaking down his cheeks, taking the scarf with him. He wrapped his hand in it, wiped the tears from Merlin’s eyes. “Hey, hey. It’s going to be ok. It’s over now.” Arthur wanted to tell Merlin he’d find the guy and gut him. Everything in him screamed to pack up and head out the door. “No wonder you’ve been so shaken up.”

“He was so messed up. There was slobber everywhere on his lips. I’ve washed my face a thousand times, but it’s just not coming off.” Merlin pulled his shirt up over his face, wiping furiously as if he could wipe away the memory if he just scrubbed hard enough. “The girl he took away with him, she looked terrified.”

“At least you got him off you before he could do anything else.” Arthur winced when Merlin’s face paled further. He never did seem to say the right thing. “Sorry, I know I’m not helping.”

Merlin took a trembling step forward and buried his head in Arthur’s chest. It was more contact than they’d had since everything happened. Arthur curled his fingers over Merlin’s shoulder carefully, rubbing a thumb in slow circles over the soft fabric of Merlin’s shirt. He frowned as Merlin’s hot tears soaked through his shirt, trying to think of what he could say that wouldn’t further make a mess of things.

“He told me he knew I was into men. Said he could tell by my outfit.” Merlin gestured down to his patterned shirt and black pants and thick high boots. “Apparently I look like I’m up for anything.”

“Sounds like he was quite the chatterbox and entirely full of nonsense.” Arthur risked a hand in Merlin’s hair, smoothing down the wild strays even though he knew they’d just poke back out.

“He asked if I was into men.”

“Did you say no?”

“I haven’t been back in the closet in over a year. I told him I was bisexual.” Merlin shuddered. “Then I spit on him, but I don’t think he got the hint.”

“Of course he did. Men like him don’t give a shit.” Arthur shook his head, leaned his head against Merlin’s, moved his hand to cup his cheek.

Merlin flinched away. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Arthur frowned and back up a step.

“Don’t kiss me.” Merlin’s bottom lip shook. “I can’t right now. Not while I still feel dirty.”

Arthur almost argued. Merlin wasn’t dirty, he wasn’t at fault. He didn’t deserve to suffer this way, and Arthur wasn’t anything like that other man. Maybe it would help.

But he stopped, because Merlin’s eyes were wide and pleading and he looked ready to slide back into the place he’d been before this conversation started. Away from Arthur, back into not allowing any contact at all. Back into being too afraid to even talk about it. “Whatever you need. Let me know when you’re ready.” Arthur reached for Merlin’s shoulder again, biting his tongue to keep from sighing in relief when Merlin didn’t pull away again.

The next day, Arthur took off work. He found a man with a loud mouth and a bragging habit a block away from where Merlin had been picked up. He chuckled his way through a nauseating conversation and held the red hot heat of anger in check long enough to ask about Merlin. He thanked his lucky stars when the man described what happened with a cocky lilt to his story that he hadn’t had to look long. Then he dragged the asshole out the door by his shiny button up shirt-collar. The bruised girl didn’t move from the bar they’d met in when her scum boyfriend hollered for her.

Arthur came home with bloody knuckles and good news.


End file.
